Thursday, February 11, 2016

Undercover Granny

I just turned on the television to have some background noise on while I sewed up a bear. Inside Edition was on and I can't really tell you how long it has been since I watched this program. Apparently they have a segment from time to time that is kind of a expose' of shifty business people who take advantage of poor, unsuspecting customers. 20/20 had John Stossel and Arnold Diaz. Our own WATE has Don Dare. Apparently they have "Undercover Granny"...a pretty brunette reporter woman who dons an old woman mask and cane and tries to catch the bad guys. She tried to talk to a crooked plumber tonight; it was a train wreck. Beware, my friends. Undercover Granny may be gunning for you if your business is not on the up and up. And she'll have a hidden van full of your victims waiting to tear you apart with viscious rhetoric.

Think on that, friends.

Night all.


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Wednesday, February 10, 2016

I'm a heathen

Today is Ash Wednesday and I should be at church getting my ashes put on and thinking about the start of Lent and what I need to do during this time. Instead, I took the evening off to stay home. The two youngers are coughing and snorty right now and I kind of figured that home was the best place to be tonight. Wednesday's are usually very busy and a work day for me at church, so it does feel weird to not be there. Pray for us if you are at church. I'm helping with homework and making Valentine gifts for the children to give teachers.

I may crash at any minute, so night all. Have a wonderful evening.


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Tuesday, February 9, 2016

No snow snow day

We had a snow day today...but had what I would call a "powdered sugaring" on the grass. It was very cold. At first I wasn't sure why we had the day off until I saw a Tweet from our superintendent of schools as he was out in the county checking the roads:



It amazes me how your location, in the same county, can make such a difference. I guess their roads were pretty yucky. Their snow is our gain. We indulged in Shrove Tuesday pancakes and played lots of Kings In the Corner. The oldest went to see her first really scary movie, "The Boy", and so now the hub and I may have to mess with her a little bit. I keep showing her the picture to get a reaction:



Creepy little boy doll. Eeek.

Night all.
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Monday, February 8, 2016

Back in the saddle, er, sewing machine

I have been given a shirt. A very special shirt. The shirt itself is nothing out of the ordinary, but the person who once wore it was. He was someone's brother...someone's son...someone's friend. So that makes this shirt extra special. It has been given to me to turn it into a bear. I feel a little bit of pressure, I must say. I want the recipient to love it and find it to be meaningful. Losing a sibling or child is something I have not experienced. No perspective I have is close to theirs. It may sound silly, but I have prayed over this shirt and the sewing machine and the poly-fil stuffing, asking for all of it together to be a blessing tied up in a green and black flannel shirt. Let's hope it will.

Night all.



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Sunday, February 7, 2016

Super Bowl L....not 50

I understand the need to modernize things in our times, I really do. But daggone it, Super Bowl, why take away the Roman numerals when numbering your bowls and replace them with regular numbers? I am not good at math. My children have passed me in their skills at solving arithmetic anything. Roman numerals are all I have left to lord over them in the field of any numbers. And lord over them I do. When we stay to the end of a movie and they do the date in Roman numerals, I can rattle it off while the kids just look at me like I've grown an extra arm. Oh, the power I held and now the NFL has removed it from my clenched and angry fists. Little children watching future Super Bowls will only see the numerals when the rewatch. old movies or look at old clock towers. Keep the numerals, football. Because this girl born in MCMLXXII needs a little edge over her kids. Do it for the mom.

Night all.


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Friday, February 5, 2016

Is there such a thing as "Baker's Back"?

So. There's tennis elbow and runner's cough and jumper's knee and even skiier's thumb. What I want to know is this: is there such a thing as Baker's Back? Or Baker's Bottom? Jeepers. After mixing all this blasted dough up, rolling the balls of dough in sugar and smashing them, I thought last night was bad enough. Today's adventure of baking over 30 dozen cookies has me thinking that Baker's Back might need to be a thing. I love to work in the kitchen, especially the church's commercial kitchen, but those floors are unforgiving. Wah wah wah. Get in shape, Jenny, and quit whining about making little pink and purple cookies. After hearing all those nicknames, I decided there needed to be others created for other situations that didn't necessarily involve sports or, cough cough, baking(I hang my head in shame). Here we go:

1. Clorox/Lysol finger: While I am really trying to rid my home of as many chemicals, I fully admit that when a stomach virus comes through our house, I am spraying the Clorox Clean Up and Lysol anywhere I must like the blasted mosquito spraying truck in the dead of summer. Sometimes it gets to the point that I can't feel my finger...but if it saves me from having another person wake us up at 1:30am with a "I threw up!!!"...I'll take one for the team.

2. Teenager Eye: At those times, thankfully not that many in this house, when the horrible adults do something so ridiculous that a major eye roll is necessary...resulting in eye strain and a head ache. Warning: Could result in the "you keep doing it and they'll get stuck that way" or "do that again and see what happens" threats being spoken.

3. "Spoons" Palm: The injury resulting from smacking your opponent's hand so hard trying to grab a spoon when they get four of a kind. Also results from smacking the playing surface in a fit of rage from not grabbing a spoon in time.

4. Diorama 'Do: This is not so much an injury as it is an appearance marring condition. Well, unless you pull the actual hair out. This condition happens when an offspring brings a worksheet to you that outlines a school project(diorama, solar system out of papier-mâché, scale model of an African dam)which is due the next day. It often happens when looking at the clock to realize the craft supply store has closed for the evening and you run your hands through your hair 57 times trying to figure out how to make rare trees of the Amazon out of old celery in the veggie drawer and floral tape. The struggle is real, friends.

5. Lego Heel: The permanent indentation and excruciating pain that results from an incomplete Lego pickup that is only discovered during a middle of the night trip to the bathroom. No more explanation is needed. I have to believe there are support groups out there for this.

I may be baking some more cookies tomorrow, so I better go to bed now. Maybe I'll do a quick Lego sweep before I lay down.

Night all.




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Thursday, February 4, 2016

The dough is taking over

Our annual Father Daughter(significant mentoring male and girl)Valentine's Dance is coming up on Saturday. It has been around for quite a while and is one of the most anxiously anticipated events on our church calendar. They dress up, some in church finery and some in prom wear, maybe have a nice meal out and then hit the church gym for dancing and pictures. One of the other parts of the dance, obviously, is the refreshment portion. Dads, for the most part, are not quite as stringent on this night about the punch and cookie intake as moms probably would be. Because of this fact, a whole mess of cookies are required to fill the tummies. I just finished making sugar cookie dough. Tomorrow, I take 30 dozen and 1 cookies down to use the church industrial strength ovens to bake and bake and bake. Hopefully, this will minimize the time to bake red, purple, and green sugar cookies.


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